Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Thirty.

A lot has happened in the last week. But most notably, I turned the big 3-0. Yep. It's kind of difficult to say. Luckily, I don't have to say it all that often. I know that 30 isn't old. Really, I do. But, I feel as though the last four or so years were somehow stolen from me. I spent so much time planning to get pregnant, being pregnant (and incredibly uncomfortable), coming to terms with no longer being pregnant, but now having a baby to take care of, spending every waking hour (and some not-so-awake) with Ella, and deciding to start my own business so that I could continue to be with Ella beyond the standard 12-week "maternity leave"... that I somehow forgot to just be. And now I'm no longer in my twenties. I'm a 30-year-old mom with lots of responsibilities, and am trying to figure out where I went.

For the last few months, I was dreading my birthday. And now that it has come and gone, I wonder what all the fuss was about. It's just a number... and yet, it seems to be so much more. Perhaps I thought I'd have accomplished more by this age, seen more places, or somehow have life all figured out. But I have done what I've done, seen what I've seen, and know what I know... and no amount of reminiscing changes that. I can only change what I do going forward. So, I'm hoping to use this milestone as an opportunity to stop being so timid, take some risks—and take some time for me. It's time to get things done!

So watch out, here I come! :-)

2 comments:

H.P.S. said...

I love this post and say bravo!

jsc said...

hallelujah! (but pronounce it with the "j," it's more fun!)